Journey Back to Wholeness
Friday, June 17, 2016
are you living from your story or your soul...your wounds or your wisdom?
I noticed that those comments weren't necessarily made to ask for advice but more of a telling of their story, of their wounds, of their victimhood. Loving mindful people reached out and said loving things and gave wonderful advice, but still they clung to their story, to their wounds, to their victimhood. I understand. There have been times in my life when I've argued for my victimhood without even realizing I was doing it. There were many times I argued for my stories, identified with my wounds, I didn't know there was another way. I would tell the story of how I wasn't lovable because no man ever stayed in my life. In active addiction I told myself the story that there was no way out, there was no hope, addiction was how I would spend the rest of my life. I would tell the story of how I couldn't pursue my dreams because I was too busy being there for everyone else and they needed me. I would tell the story of how everyone in my life would be better off if I wasn't in it. And then I got clean and sober and began to heal.
Sometimes we've told the story so many times, for so long, that we aren't even aware that we are doing it. Everytime we tell the story of our wounds, of how things never work out, of how this certain thing always happens to me, we breathe life into those stories and those wounds. Everytime we tell them with the emotion that comes along with them, we empower our stories and our wounds and we disempower ourselves.
So, my question is, what is your story? If you feel stuck, if you feel like you're struggling, if you feel like a certain area of your life isn't working out the way you'd like it to...what is the story you are telling about it? Write it down and read it out loud to yourself. Write down the story of how you want your life to be. Compare the two and ask yourself: Am I living from my story? Am I living from my wounds? Am I dragging my past into my present and reacting to current situations from past stories and wounds? Am I living from my Soul? Am I living from my wisdom?
Are you willing to let go of your story and your wounds? Are you willing to entertain the possibility of healing, of a better story, of a better life? Yes, it can be scary to let go of what has become so familiar to you, I understand that. And I'm not at all saying it will be easy or that it will happen overnight. What I am saying is that healing is a choice and the best and only place to start is from exactly where you are. You have the power within you to make the choice to heal. Any inner wound can be healed and no one is a hopeless case.
When you make the choice to heal you begin the process of calling your power back from all of those stories and all of those wounds that you've given your power to your whole life. I can tell you from experience that as you dig into yourself and begin to heal, you will find treasure. As you feel your emotions, as you process, as you work through your wounds and bring healing light to them, as you change your stories, those wounds and those stories transform into wisdom. And the best part is that if you do the healing work you begin to feel better and better. You find a peace within you that you didn't know existed.
Healing is possible for everyone, I believe that to the core of my being. No one is hopeless. You can choose healing, you have the power.
Sending you all love and light,
Tia
Thursday, September 24, 2015
Because I don't want to die with my music still in me
"Don't die with your music still in you."
Friday, November 7, 2014
So let's bring light to some more shame, shall we...
"I don't wanna live to waste another day underneath the shadow of mistakes I've made..." Shinedown, "Breaking Inside"November 3, 2014
Friday, May 2, 2014
Day 32: Lessons learned from a selfie
I took the picture to include in a journal spread for the art journaling class I'm taking, Book of Days. I almost didn't do it, I thought about using a picture of myself as a child instead but I'm intent on getting outside of my comfort zone and healing energy patterns and I knew this was something I had to do for me.
It really is just a picture right? But I took 9 of them before I got one that I liked. And I only kind of liked it. It's strange because when I look in the mirror I see a different girl than the one that looks back at me from photos. I thought about that a lot. Why is it I look in the mirror and can see a pretty girl but I look at photos and see flaws? Interesting question. What came to mind is that perhaps what I see when I look at a picture is what I feel the world sees. I know who I am on the inside and I know that I am a beautiful person. I think that deep down we all are, which may seem strange given what some people do but I believe it's in there, under all the hurt and pain and wounds that some people have. But anyway...I know me, I know my stories, my wounds, what I have been through, how I have healed, who I am. But the rest of the world doesn't know that. Perhaps it is the judgement of others I see when I see myself in photos, or, perhaps that is just a reflection of some deep seeded judgement I have toward myself.
Just think, all of that from a selfie. I definitely see meaning in all things and I am glad that I do. It has definitely given me something to think about, not that I don't already have enough going on in there as there are many deep things on my mind these days. But I know that things come to my attention and are reflected to me at the exact time I need to be aware of them. For that I am grateful.
May you be blessed with love and light,
tia
Here's a sneak peek of the page I'm doing for the class I mentioned above, it's not done yet but I am loving it so far.
Thursday, May 1, 2014
Day 31: Following my muse for another day
Work in progress from this morning |
Work in progress from this evening |
Before I start these are pics of the painting I am currently working on, one from this morning and the other from this evening. It's amazing the difference in the colors in the pictures as this morning I had natural light and this evening it was not.
I know that yesterday I said I would write about empowerment and how I was thinking about where exactly I am in my Dreams but...
At first I felt guilty about not finishing and posting it because I said I would and it is important for me to establish trust and consistency. If I was just blowing it off then the guilt would be justified but I am not. The truth is that I have spent most of the day on creative projects. I did some cleaning this morning as well and was going to clean some more when I stopped myself. I often allow myself to get caught up in the little details and use that as a reason to avoid my creativity. I am working to change that pattern so I stopped myself today because I did clean and really, the rest of it could wait until tomorrow. My Soul was calling me to paint and the class I'm taking was calling me to creatively play and the bracelet I am making for a gift was calling for me to bead it and I had to answer. I wanted to answer.
When I answer that call I let my Soul and my Creativity know they are important. When I answer the call I let my Soul and my Creativity know they are important. When I answer that call I allow joy and Divine connection into my Life. So, I answered the call and have been lost joyfully in it today. Paint on my fingers, projects all over my studio, books bound, stamping and gluing and beading... It's been wonderful! So I won't guilt myself into feeling badly about that and instead will allow myself to feel the magick, wonder and joy in that.
I did, however, start to work on the empowerment/where am I in my Dreams post so I will continue to work on it tomorrow, if that is where my Soul leads me and when It is ready, I promise I will post it.
May you be blessed with love and light,
tia
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
Day 30: Internet troubles
I've been working on my painting for hours, lost in the process, a little tired but not ready to stop the flow. I went to sit down to write up my blog post an hour ago and I had no internet :( Luckily I do have it on my phone but it's a little time consuming and tedious to write up a long post on it. So this will be short and sweet.
Aside from my painting I also finished my hand bound hand made journal for the class I'm taking and am excited to do the first weeks lesson in it. I also cut and glued foam for a cushion for the pallet chair I made.
On the internal from I've been thinking a lot about empowerment today as I had a dream last night that I discussed it with someone. I've also been thinking about my Dreams and where myself and my "Core Desired Feeling" (Danielle LaPorte) are within them. More on all of that plus an updated picture of my painting in progress tomorrow.
May you be blessed with love and light,
tia
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Day 29: Painting in progress
My painting in progress |
I was inspired by a time lapsed YouTube video of Donna Downey painting from a couple of years ago. This painting is definitely outside of my comfort zone but I am loving the process of it, just letting it flow and doing things in a way I haven't done them before. It felt good to paint again and I didn't want to stop but there was a blog to do and meditation I'd like to do because I did not take the time to meditate this morning.
I also spent some time today getting my paper and cover ready to bind a journal for Effy Wild's Book of Days class that I am taking. It has been what feels like a long time since I have made and bound my own journal so I am very excited for that project. I got as far as putting my signatures together and picking out my cover material and then I couldn't find my waxed linen thread, which I really wanted to use, and I also wanted to paint so I set it aside. I think I am just going to use Hemp cord for my binding thread because that is what I have and can find.
Inspiration definitely started to flow as I was painting today and there are a number of projects that have been wanting my attention that energy started to flow for again today. And that feels really good.
May you be blessed with love and light,
tia