Inspired by November "Super Soul Sunday" episodes...

"evolve, transform, grow"

I had never heard of Mark Nepo before I watched the two "Super Soul Sunday" episodes that he was on.  He is, as Oprah described him, "a gentle poet," and a cancer survivor.  He has a very gentle energy and speaking voice yet, the impact of his words is quite powerful, at some points sending chills up and down my legs as my energy and Soul were pointing to the truths in what he spoke.  He expressed spiritual beliefs and thoughts in such a beautifully poetic way, I only hope to be able to express myself as well.  Here are a few of his quotes that I had to stop and write down during the two episodes:

"Whatever opens us is never as important as what it opens."

"To be broken is no reason to see all things as broken."

"We are broken open or we willfully shed."

"Every single being has n amazing unfathomable gift that only meeting life head on will reveal."

"You can't bypass the human journey, it's the cocoon that releases the Soul." 

After watching the episodes I started thinking about pain.  They (Oprah and Mark Nepo) talked about going through things, through pain.  It reminded my of something I say, "The only way 'out' is through the door marked 'in.'"  The only way to get out of whatever it is you are feeling is to go into it, inside of yourself, to heal it.  I was so inspired by these episodes that I wrote up a sort of intention, I guess you'd call it, for walking through pain, or any other emotion that's uncomfortable, or maybe just getting through any challenge in general.

So here it is:

I choose to walk through the pain, through the loss, through the disappointment.  I choose to go in their doors and walk through them.  I choose to see the beauty in the pain because, if I merely remain open to it, one day, my eyes will clear to see it.  I choose to walk through it all, one step at a time.  Some steps will indeed be graceful, while others will be anything but.  Some steps will lead to stumbling and falling face first in the mud.  I will see the beauty in those steps as well, for only while my face is on the ground can I see the treasure that is poking it's head up, ever so slightly.  In my stumble is where I will see, then dig out, that treasure.  Some steps will be me pulling myself back up, brushing myself off and sitting with the treasure that I have uncovered, hearing it's story, holding space for it, coming to know who and what it is.

Some steps will be taken in anger and, where in the past I would jump off the path and find a way around it, I will instead walk, or stumble, or perhaps even fall through it.  I will feel it and find healthy ways to process it.

Some steps will hurt and I might sit for a moment and rest.  And I will sit in the place of pain, hurt, loss, disappoint, or whatever the emotion might be, honoring it by listening to the wisdom it has to share.  For it is through those emotions that I learn what needs to be healed within me, what hurt dark spaces within me need the light of my healing love.

I'll take some steps alone and in others the quiet shrill whisper of shame might creep up from my deepest darkest spaces, as I know it will.  Instead of tucking it in my pocket and muffling its voice, with my head hung, I will share what it says to me so that I may heal those past hurt spaces from which it sprang, with my head held high.

I will not take my steps perfectly but I will take them in a way that is right for me, for my Soul, for my path, for my healing, and I will do my best to be okay with that.  I will do my best to learn how to love all of me, as I step "in," and not just the places that have healed so close to wholeness but also the places that are dark and dusty and still transforming and growing, as well as the ones that haven't even started yet.  I will remember that, while my heart was broken, I was not.  I will also remember that in the feeling of all having been shattered in my life, pieces are merely being rearranged into a truer more beautiful version of Who I Really Am.  I will step my way through and allow the process, sometimes skipping steps and later coming back and going through the process of those avoided.  Which for me means that I will do my best to not gloss over the process with where I want to be and, instead, set the intention and allow myself to heal into it.
I will continue to step into forgiveness each and every moment, as difficult as that can sometimes be.  I will remember that forgiveness is a gift of love and an act of kindness toward myself as it sets me free.  I will remember that I, too, live in a glass house and have hurt people before, and have been forgiven.

I will use my life and my experiences through these steps, and all others that I will surely take, to be of service.  I will allow myself to shine in my vulnerability while hoping to touch the healing hearts and Souls of others.

I will be patient with my humanness and love and accept it in all of its imperfect perfection.

And while I won't always understand what brought forth the pain in the midst of it, I will stay open to clarity, open to the purpose as I believe everything has many.  I will remember, in each step, that, as Eckhart Tolle said, "I am not the emotion, the emotion is in me."  With each step I will remember that the emotions, whatever they might be, whatever might bring them forth, are merely energy and I will do my best to allow them to flow through me.  I will remember, and remind myself, that everything is working out for my Highest Good, even when it might not feel like it.

I will remember that the moment will come when I will walk through the other side of it, having transformed into a better version of myself, one that I could not have been were it not for the event.  And I will set that intention while being present in each moment, of each step, of each beautiful breath of this crazy life I am living.  To the best of my abilities.

May you be blessed with love and light,
Tia