Day 2: Order from Chaos

I had a brand new Fabriano journal resting patiently on my work space, just waiting for me to caress it with paint, for at least a few weeks.  Every day I would look at it, feel the paper, and pass it by.  One day I took a quick trip to Michael's for some pens and discovered that they had Gelatos!!!  I have been wanting Gelatos for quite some time and was SUPER excited to get some.

Armed with my Gelatos, new stamps, pens, and a new stencil, I began to play.  The picture is a little fuzzy, had I realized that I would have taken another one before I put on the finishing touches.  To give you an idea of how slow I am with the Art Journaling process, I started this before March 21st and just finished it tonight.  I know, it's bad.

I wasn't sure I even liked it to be quite honest.  It's not at all my usual style.  As I looked at it I kept thinking it looked like chaos.  Then the phrase: "From chaos comes order," came into my head.  It danced and twirled around and before I knew it, the following poem was born:

From the chaos comes order

From that which challenges us

Tries us

Seemingly breaks and buries us

Comes the courage, strength, wisdom and heart with which we uncover our truths, uncover treasure

Discover and step into our true selves

From the chaos comes order

From that which drags us down, breaks our heart and feels as if it's torn us apart

From the hurt and the pain and the fear and the doubt

We rise

Ever moving forward

Determined

From the chaos of our tear stained faces and blood streaked bodies

We rise

From the chaos comes order

From the chaos comes wisdom

From the chaos comes truth

In the chaos we find our voice, our power, our dreams

We are birthed from the chaos into the truth of Who We Really Are

I'm still not sure how I feel about the page, probably because it is different than what I normally create.  It is outside of my comfort zone which is why I am sharing it anyway because, as Neale Donald Walsch says, "Life begins outside of your comfort zone."  And I am determined to take steps that take me outside of my comfort zone because that's where my dreams are.

Although I am unsure of the page, what I am sure of is the message of the words that came to me.  It is within the challenges, the darkness, the pain that we become more of Who We Really Are.  It is within the chaos that we find our treasure, if we choose to be open to seeing it.  Some of the most difficult times in my life have later brought me so many gifts, so much wisdom and, although they were quite painful and challenging, I am grateful.  

There is really only one event that I am not yet able to say that I'm glad it happened.  But I know I will eventually come to that place.  When it happened, unlike many other times in my life, I knew that there had to be beauty in it and that one day I would see it.  I'm still open to seeing it, although I haven't yet.  But everyday that day gets closer and I have been able to see many gifts, opportunities and blessings in it and I know there are more to come.  The key is to remain open to it.  And honestly, that's easier some days than others.  Of course, it's far easier now then when I was knee deep in it.  At that point it was something I repeated to myself as a type of mantra to help me navigate through it.  Some days I said it but didn't feel it at all.  Today I know and feel that there is beauty within the pain of it and that what happened was for my Highest Good.  I believe that what happened was best for the evolution of my Soul and as I continue to heal the hurt and pain of whatever is left to heal from, I am able to let go more and more and I grow closer to the peace that lies within that knowing.  Baby steps.  

The more I heal, the more my awareness grows and my perception shifts and I am able to see in a different light.  Healing is not a journey for the weak of heart.  Those of us who embark upon the journey of digging deep into our internal world to heal and grow and remember our innate wholeness know the sweat and grit of the journey, as well as the rewards.  It takes a lot of effort and can be challenging, to say the least, but it is well worth it because the gift that you get is the gift of yourself.

With love and light,

Tia