Day 7: I took a walk down social media memory lane

Once upon a time I had another blog.  Actually, I've had two other blogs and I just abandoned them, left them to float aimlessly in the wind.  I was looking for something today that I had posted to Facebook a few years ago and I saw links to my last blog and decided to go there and read a little.  It was interesting.  That blog had more of a name that was about my creativity.  I shared my healing journey as well but I wanted a blog name that spoke to my being a healing coach so I started a new one.  Of course, I share creativity here as well because I'm passionate about many things and whatever blog I have will reflect that.  While I was looking at that old blog I happened upon a poem I wrote and posted there and felt like sharing it today.  

She speaks in soft whisperous tones

As she takes a cautious step

Into the ground that is her truth.

She's careful not to put the full weight of her foot down

As she's used to stepping on shaky ground.

Then she realizes

That that is the past.

That shaky ground beneath her feet no longer exists,

As it faded with the passing of its time.

And she remembers

That the stability of the ground of her truth

Is determined only by her belief in it

Not on the past of it.

So she places her foot firmly

On the solid ground of her truth.

She knows the time she's spent rebuilding the foundation of it.

She knows that it is that that she needs to remember.

She sees the security of it now,

Security she has built on her journey back to wholeness.

And she places her "truth" stamp on it,

And she stands firmly there

Rooted in her foundation,

Speaking her truth in audible tones

From her Divine spirit within,

That she has finally claimed as her own.

And the past slowly fades away,

Illusions of some distant day.

They served her well in reminding her

Of who she is and who she is not.

But they were never meant to be contained

And projected into her future.

They were never meant to manifest fears

Freezing her in time.

So she releases them gently,

With love and appreciation,

And they blow away with the wind.

She has traveled long and deep

To find the truth she now holds.

And whether she's flying towards her dreams

Or dancing to her own tune,

She knows her ground of truth will always be there for her,

Strong, stable, and secure.

And she now trusts herself to remember the existence of it that she built.

Now that I've gone back there and re-read parts of that blog, my mind is reeling with so much about where I was, what I was internally working on, and where I am.  Sometimes it feels like I keep coming to the same place but I know it really isn't the same place, it's a similar place further up on the spiral because I am a different person.  I am not the same person I was yesterday, nor will I be the same person tomorrow that I am today.  I noticed that I seemed to have shared from a different space then.  Perhaps it was a little more free I guess.  I talked more about what I was doing and shared a little more.  Even though I have had moments of great vulnerability on this blog, there seems to be a missing element from the old one and this one.  It requires more thought so I will let it dance and swirl around within me until I gain a little clarity about it.

The other interesting thing was looking back at my posts on Facebook and seeing how they have changed as well.  Oh, and I never did find what I was looking for, perhaps I never posted it there to begin with.  As I was reading some of my posts it felt as if I was happier then.  The past year and a half has been challenging, I have said that before, and I know it has affected me in many ways.  I've been thinking about that lately.  Thinking about healing and emotions and how, when you don't feel what requires feeling, it clouds you, clouds your awareness.  I feel like I'm being cryptic and unwilling to share and it's certainly not my intention to do that.  There is much I have to say but it's late and I am tired and I know that, in this state, I will not do justice to what I am wanting so much to articulate.  There are 23 more days for me to get into the depths of all of that and I promise I will.

For now I'm going to sit with all that I saw today, what it said about me, and where I was in relationship to where I am now, as well as going forward.  It's amazing to me how much things change in a relatively short span of time.

May you be blessed with love and light,

tia