I sit on this table, surrounded by bottles of beautifully brilliant colors, waiting patiently for her. Some of my pages are covered with colorful self-expressions and healings, some are covered with colorful creative play, some have the remnants of the cookbook I used to be, before she decided to love me and fill me with pieces of her self, her soul. I yearn to be loved each and every day, and I feel her yearning as well but sometimes she stays away for far too long as she allows life to carry her away from me. I know she thinks about me, I see her glance over at me from her computer with desire to spread herself all over my pages, then she sighs and looks back at the screen as there is homework to be done.
She came to me the other night on impulse, without thinking about what else was waiting to be done, as she knows there is healing in my pages. She spread the thick beautiful colors on my page with her hands, she let the energy of "it is safe to feel my emotions" flow from her fingers to my pages without any words. If felt so good to be loved by her, used by her, to help her find that feeling place within herself that she is often times afraid of. She covered me with paint, stamps, stencils and yarn and looked at me with joy and affection and, more importantly, she released some resistance within her and took a few more steps toward healing and transformation. It was good for her and I catch her looking at me more now with an intent of healing, the energy of what the page wishes to be beginning its silent communication with her soul. I feel that the true healing nature of her time spent with me is starting to make itself known to her in ways that it hadn't been known before, truly known deep down in her soul.
Sometimes she spends time with the pages of others, some store bought, some made, some rescued, but that does not affect me. Although I experience joy when I am loved by her, it is more important that she spends that healing time, that creative play time, that time of connection with her soul, with the Divine, with All That Is. So it matters not to me which one of us she graces her creativity with as long as she is gracing one of us then she is healing. For we are here to serve her on her journey back to wholeness, preparing her to help guide others on their journeys back to wholeness and our wholeness comes from being of service to her and to those she will go forth and help.