During periods of intense growth and transformation I seem to come to a point where I get restless. I think that restless is just another way to say impatient. I call this place "in-between." I have been working through so much lately, as I look back on the past 5 weeks it has been a crazy roller coaster ride and sometimes I've screamed, sometimes I've laughed, sometimes I've thrown up, sometimes I've cried, sometimes I have hung my head, and sometimes I have wanted to get off. But I haven't gotten off yet and I continue to take steps forward through the "in-between" because I recognize the importance of it's presence, no matter how restless and uncomfortable I might feel at times.
If I have made it to "in-between" then progress is being made. It signifies growth and that I am letting go of what no longer works and what no longer serves me, and I am embracing what does work and what does serve me. I am stepping toward a new statement about Who I Really Am and Who I Wish to be. I'm no longer comfortable with where I was at, which is a good thing. I have been working on releasing old negative energy patterns and adapting new and healthier ones. I have been affirming my worth, building my dreams now, fine tuning my intentions and purpose, letting go of situations, making room in my life for my dreams, visualizing and co-creating what's next...I have been a busy girl. While I am no longer comfortable where I was at, as I feel myself out of alignment with certain things in my life, I am not yet completely comfortable and lined up with where I am going either. Hence the "in-between." I know opportunities and experiences are coming but I am not totally ready for them, otherwise they would be here. I am exactly where I am supposed to be and it is important that I actually Be Here Now, instead of waiting for the next new moments to come along. Otherwise I could miss an important reminder about Who I Really Am.
It is important that I remember that this "in-between" place has reminders for me about Who I No Longer Am and Who I Am Becoming. And I honestly do not know as of yet what those reminders are, all I do know is that where I was contains pieces of Who I No Longer Am, and where I am going contains pieces of Who I Am Becoming. And yes, it is still a roller coaster ride. I haven't completely left Kansas but I am not yet in Oz. Perhaps part of the restlessness is that I don't know. I am walking through the unknown and that can be scary but it is also exciting as I am anticipating Life opening up in the most astounding ways. And let's face it, I can not proceed with my intention to create products and provide services that allow me the opportunity to be of service to myself and others until I have walked through the land of "in-between." Dorothy had to follow the yellow brick road and take that journey to get back to the center of herself and find out she had the power within her the whole time, she just didn't know it. So, too, do I have to travel the yellow brick road of "in-between" to get to where my home, my purpose, my truth, and the beauty of my co-creation is. So for now I am "in-between." I bless this "in-between" place and as I look around in awe at all that surrounds me I am open to seeing the gifts, opportunities and blessings here and I trust that they will be revealed to me at exactly the right moment. They always are. And if the flying monkeys come out and fear creeps up, I'm taking a step forward anyway because falling asleep in the poppy field, or using where I am at as an excuse to stay stuck, is not an option here, not if I choose to continue to grow. The only way for me to co-create living my dreams is for me to be a part of my dreams and sometimes that means being uncomfortable. As Neale Donald Walsch says, "Life begins at the end of your comfort zone." And I am at the end of my comfort zone. So bring it on!
With light and love,
Tia
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