Monday, April 14, 2014

Day 14: Derailed and my girls

Last night I was riding the wave of inspired empowerment and, therefore, had grand plans for today.  Meditation, art, moving the art desk I made yesterday out of a pallet into my studio space, redoing my business cards and maybe, if I had enough time, figuring out how to use the web builder function I got with my domain name.  I was feeling energized by my plans.  Of course, I woke up and ended up doing a babysitting favor for someone who was in a bind, so I had to put my plans off until the afternoon.

For some reason I just never recovered my excitement and energy.  I just couldn't get into the groove of things.  My energy felt completely drained and it wasn't the kids.  I've been experiencing energy drains for months.  I have been drinking green juice every day for a few weeks, along with taking vitamins and sometimes it helps in the morning but my energy always seems to drop off in the afternoon.  Some days are worse than others.  I fear I may have an energy vampire, but I digress.  I did, however, make some time for art as I sat down to draw after the late dinner I made.

While my girl that I am drawing is beautiful so far, there's something I am just not happy with.  All of y girls, with the exception of one, seem to have a very similar sadness to their faces.  I'm trying to fine tune her face, changing her lips to get a hint of a smile, adjusting and redoing her eyes, but so far that glimmer of happiness is missing.  I try to allow my girls to come through however they are meant to but I also want to bring ore magick, more joy, more mystery and fantasy in my drawings and my art.  But I wonder, perhaps their faces are a message to me, as much of my art is.  Even the emotion on their faces must serve to remind me of something about myself or they are reflecting something to me.  Maybe they are telling me that it might be beneficial to allow more joy into my life and then my girls will reflect it.

As I mentioned, there was one girl I did who had a playful look on her face, even the hint of a smirk, which is unusual.  I started a painting with her on it at the end of last year/beginning of this year, but I haven't touched her since.  I also put her on a t-shirt, that I did finish, but it was a grey t-shirt and the grey really shows through the painted colors so it is starting to fade already.  The girl has this look on her face because it is all about letting go.  That's the idea I had when she came through, let it all go.  I think that the topic of "letting go" is also the reason why the painting was never finished.  And the part of the message of that just might be that when we let go, the pressure eases up and the playfulness has room to grow.  I think it just might be time to pay her another visit.

I am off to continue working on my girl, I'll be sure to post pictures when she's finished.

May you be blessed with love and light,


  1. First I think it's a great thing you've written down the things you aimed to do. This could be used as a point of reference to look back on. Then if you can't do everything you can do it piece by piece. Just spending a little time on our dreams is a step forward to getting there. I also think it's great you've noticed when your energy slumps so get that step done in the morning and don't be too hard on yourself. You'll get there.

    1. Suzy, I agree with you, spending some time, no matter how small, at least moves me forward. I do tend to forget to be gentle with myself, as much as I encourage others to do it. Thank you so much for your encouragement, I appreciate it :)