I'm sitting with some things tonight after watching the "Super Soul Sunday" episode with Adyashanti this evening. Profoundly beautiful. I always love when I hear teachings that I already knew in a different way that makes me see that I forgot to apply something I knew to certain area of my life.
Adyashanti posed some questions that really made me stop and think about things. He asked the following, "Since the past isn't here now, how is it that I'm keeping it alive?" and "How am I sustaining that trauma?" and "How am I traumatizing myself?" and "How am I continuing it?" To me this speaks of the story of the wound. I've talked about the effects of holding on to our stories, I've written about it, I've dug into how I might be holding on to my stories but when he asked these questions it really got me thinking about the past year and a half and how I am holding on to a couple of stories, traumatizing myself with them, continuing them. I could say I should have known better but then I would be "shoulding" all over myself and I try not to do that.
All of these things started coming up and my mind zipped to a number of places, good, deep places that need the light of healing. I'm in a strange place right now with all of it in which I am pondering it all, understanding some, reflecting on all of it and resisting it all at the same time.
So much of what he said in that show resonated with me, inspired me, moved me and brought me back into the core of remaining wounds. I am grateful for that as it is my intent to heal those spaces and the only way to heal them is to go deep into them.
So right now I am sifting through it all while doing my best to walk through the resistance, which took me to the TV and a bowl of popcorn and I could've stayed in front of the TV longer but I was determined to walk through it. Like I said, strange place. Not a bad place at all because I know I heard exactly what I needed to hear today and it is taking me exactly where I need to be.
May you be blessed with love and light,