When I was younger, teenager years, I wanted to write stories. The problem was that, no matter how I tried, I always made myself the main character and the story about whatever it was I was currently dealing with. I couldn't find a way to blend real life with fiction in a way that felt natural to me. Then I started writing poetry. I found a certain kind of freedom within my own freestyle poetry that allowed me to cryptically write about what I was going through without people realizing that was what I was doing. I found it to be a very therapeutic outlet, and then I started journaling. The combination of the two provided an emotional release for me and helped me to make sense of what I was feeling and going through. They still do that for me today.
Writing is something my Soul needs, much like creating art. Writing and creating art are, as I already stated, an emotional release for me. They have also helped bring awareness to where I am at and when I notice that I am avoiding my journal and/or my creativity, I know that I am avoiding myself and that I am disconnected. I have realized that, while once upon a time I wanted to write fiction, my unique perspective, the one that I feel allows me to best be of service to myself and others, is writing where I am at and what I am currently navigating through. It's a natural gift for me and the more I embrace that gift, the less I have the desire to write fiction.
My main desire is to use my unique creative talents and abilities, the ones I know of and the ones that have yet to surface, to be of service to myself and others. When I write a blog post about navigating my inner world, it helps me in that it gives me the opportunity to be vulnerability and, it is my hope, that it helps someone somewhere who might be facing something similar. I suppose that's why it bothers me that I go for long periods without writing because I know that I have gifts to share with the world and it does not serve me or anyone else when I let those gifts sit quietly inside of me.
It gives me a sense of fulfillment to share my story and it fills my heart when someone reads it and lets me know that it helped them. That is one of the main reasons I decided to commit to this Blog Along, to be of service to myself and others. To give myself the opportunity to be vulnerable and stay in the light after I have done so, instead of running and hiding and watching from the shadows to see how it is received. Because, when I write from my Soul and am in the zone, it flows so effortlessly and beautifully and I love how that feels. Because I believe that part of the reason that I have endured the challenges I have is because I am supposed to use the experience and wisdom gained from those experiences to help other people. I feel the pain of others and it pains me deeply to see and hear of people hurting. I am passionate about people healing the wounds deep within them, rediscovering their own empowerment and innate wholeness, and creating the life they've only dreamed of. That is something I feel very strongly within my Soul that I am here to do and this is one of the platforms I can share those gifts with. My artwork is another.
This is about more than making a public declaration and commitment to blog for 30 days in a row, it is also a declaration to the Universe and my Soul that this is important. That I am committed to helping myself and helping others. This is me taking a step towards my dreams. Of letting myself know that this is important to me and come hell or high water I am going to write and share for the remainder of these 30 days while sending love, light and healing to any who wish to receive it. This is a message to myself that what I have to say is of value. This is out of love for me and the world.
So while I did face a heap of resistance today, I wrote anyway. Stephen Pressfield says, "Put your ass where your heart wants to be." So I put my ass at my work table and created some art and then in front of the computer and wrote. All in all a good day.
With love and light,